woah... it's been a long time

So it has been exactly 3 months since I last posted. Wow.

Let's see, quick update. A close family member was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That has been really hard on the family, but we've been dealing. I just bought a new car! My first big purchase (Hyundai Elantra, 2007). Very cool. I'm leaving soon to go see Mike in Ohio and lots of people at Stanford (yay!). That's about it for now.

Grad school is on the horizon - exciting.

More to come when I get back to a regular schedule. :)

Wisdom, snow, love, and summer employment

Michael C. Chen is wise.

I just wanted to put a thanks out to Michael for helping me out with some tough stuff, including whether or not to buy a Wii.

But seriously, folks. I've been dealing with some existentialist crises lately, mainly having to do with the fact that I'm leaving oh so very soon. And Tamar sent out an interesting email the other day commenting on how we are all going to be somewhere completely different in if not the next year, probably the next couple of years! We're so transitional. I think this says some good things about where we are and what we're doing, yes? We have the capability (physical, emotional, financial, professional) to move to a new place, start over, and do very well (most likely). Which is more than a lot of people in this country can say (unfortunately, a lot are stuck with their lot, which often sucks). However, I wonder what we're sacrificing? We have lots of facebook friendships that "last", but are we missing out on the benefits of stable residence, stable friendships, stable emotions? I'm not sure.

On another note, it is snowing like CRAZY right now, and I am happy :) I'll have to soak up as much snow as I can, I suppose, since I will not be counting on snow in L.A. unless pigs freeze over or hell flies (or whatever). It was 55 degrees 2 days ago and now it is WHITE.

Question on my mind as of last night: is there really a difference between being in love and loving somebody? Is it a matter of degree or a qualitative difference? I used to believe in a definitive qualitative difference, but now I'm not so sure. Thoughts?

And I may have found a job for the summer! Working as a cooking teacher for a summer camp :) I hope they employ me... it seems like such a neat gig.

p.s.

www.kingdomofloathing.com

omg, awesome.

Official Decision!

I have officially decided to attend UCLA for graduate school. Woot California! Woot UCLA! Woot graduate school! Woot woot!

Glorious Returns, Question, Small Rant

So I have now finished every graduate school visit I will ever do. At least for the next 6 years or so. Hopefully.

I have also survived another bout of illness- one of the worst colds I've had in years.

While the big DECISION is what's on my mind primarily these days, I have been thinking about something that I will run by you all.

So this person who lives in the same house as I do recently (I guess this weekend? I wasn't in town, so I'm not sure...) had a letter of his opened by someone else- presumably in the house. Said letter was apparently in his little mailbox-cubby-thing that we have in the main kitchen. I guess someone opened it and then left it in the mailbox-cubby-thing, opened. An email was sent out to the whole house about said letter (which I think was some sort of bank statement), asking anyone who knew who opened the letter to email this person and tell them why they did it.

Then, this person posted a print-out on the wall of the stairwell (as he likes to do to make general announcements to the house about things like paying for toilet paper) that was rather scary, actually. He said basically that he wanted to know why someone would do that, hoped it was an accident but couldn't see how that could happen since it was in his box and had his name on it, wanted the person to come forward by Monday at 8 p.m. or he would have to go to the police. He used many words in bold, such as federal offence and illegal and police.

So, here's my question. My first reaction to this was that it was kind of ridiculous what a big deal was being made about it (particularly the letter posted on the wall of the stairwell), but then I started wondering if it actually was that big of a deal. Maybe I'm just a big weenie who wouldn't have called the cops just because... I'm a weenie :) What would others have done?

Also, I may be primed to react negatively to this because this guy kind of bugs me and I think he does tend to make a big deal out of things he shouldn't. Such as the aforementioned toilet paper post on which he makes a big deal of the "financial burden" he has undertaken to buy toilet paper for one of the bathrooms and asked everyone to contribute to him $3 (even though we already paid a main fee at the beginning of the year to buy toilet paper for the whole house and we are supposed to get reimbursed from that for any personal expenses; also $3 will buy you like an entire pack of toilet paper).

Opinions? I have one. I'm never living in a communal house like this again... hehe

Uber-post

Okay, so now that I've partially recovered from Tamar's news, I will post what I had promised previously.

First off, graduate school visits. I've got one more visit to make (Northwestern), but I'm my gut is telling me UCLA is the place I want to be for the next 6 years(ish).

So, Berkeley was really lovely :) The campus is beautiful, and I loved the city. It's so funky and walkable and... understated? It's lovely, at any rate. The department was really homey and the grad students were nerdy and cool. I especially had a lot of fun talking with the grad student with whom I was staying (Matthew) about psychology, philosophy, life, and video games. Good times.

Princeton was also nice. The campus is very pretty (reminiscent of Yale but I think Yale is better hehe) and the building for the department is really really nice. I met with three majorly female-power professors, which was fantastic. Everyone seems really competent, professional, and intelligent.

UCLA was freaking awesome. First off, I thought I would dislike L.A. because... it's L.A., but, as it turns out, since L.A. is so huge, each neighborhood kind of has its own feel. The neighborhood around UCLA I really liked. It is totally walkable, full of good restaurants and stores, and really safe. Also, the weather is amazing; the last day I was there it was 84 degrees outside. In February. The campus is full of flowers, trees, swimming pools, attractive people, and sun. The department is so great- everyone is really laid-back, friendly, and they all seem genuinely happy. I felt immediately comfortable with everyone, which was a really good sign, I thought. There are so many resources for the type of research I want to do- tons of people are doing sexual orientation and gender research- and the health psychology there is phenomenal. Oh yeah, and my potential primary advisor is quite potentially the sweetest person ever.

So, things are looking up :)

I've decided that with the advent of my transition into graduate school, I am going to take a closer look at my life, how I'm living, and what can be changed. I really want to adopt a wholly positive outlook towards life. I think I'm usually very positive about things, but as of late I've found myself being more cynical than I used to be, and I really don't want to do that anymore. Also, I'm trying to think of myself as more a part of a greater dynamic (nature, the social world, etc...) rather than trying to manipulate and control everything in my world. I'm hoping that'll help me let go a little and let things happen. I have a really good feeling about the next few months.

In the meantime, I'm going to finish up things here at my current job, travel some in April, see my friends graduate in May, and then off to California for the summer and beyond. Wish me luck!

o.m.g.

Tamar is ENGAGED.

HOLY CRAP.

wow :)

This is not my news, but... wow...

We're getting so old!!!

Winter has come!

Adventures in Gradland

So my weekend in Berkeley/Stanford was exhausting, physically, mentally, and emotionally draining, and awesome in so many ways. But I'm back and roaring to go. Actually, I'm currently at Princeton, in the psychology department building (which is gorgeous). I'm going to go explore soon and try to talk to some people.

But first I wanted to document a few thoughts I had today. First of all, I love taking the train now. I used to not like it at all, mainly because I felt kind of ill whenever I did it. Now, I love it so much more than flying. I put on my iPod, sat at a window seat, and just thought the entire way to Princeton. The scenery was not always lovely, but I feel like I get so much good thinking/me-time in on trains. When I'm on planes, I just think about how much time we have left, if I need a drink, if I need to climb over the guy next to me soon to go to the bathroom, and how uncomfortable I am. Someday I may take a really long train ride. I think that would be nice :)

Also, I was in the train station at Penn Station, and I was watching people watching the train schedule. It was kind of awesome- all these people standing around, perfectly still, waiting for their train to whisk them off to wherever. Then there's me, walking around, through them, watching them. It was a cool contrast.

I will write another post soon about my trip to Berkeley/Stanford, but I think I will wait till this week is over and write about Berkeley, Princeton, and UCLA in one giant, uber-post (if you will).

Also, I want to remember to write about some new thoughts I had about spirituality, my place in the universe, and love. Remind me, blogspot. Exciting things to come!

Excitement and Disappointment

So, it's been awhile. But what I've been doing consists of the following:

Going to work
Going to class
Playing video games
Watching TV
Watching the mail/my email/my phone for news from Stanford or Michigan

It's been an exciting time. But it's about to get even MORE exciting! I leave for the Berkeley Visitor's Weekend tomorrow. I'm actually insanely excited about this. I'm going to get to see some people that are pretty awesome, both at Berkeley and on Saturday afternoon when I go to Stanford to visit... yay!

Regarding said disappointment, House, M.D. has become a mere shadow of what it used to be. Last night's episode was not as bad as it has been, but it was kind of pathetic... So, yes, House is a jerk. We all know that. HOWEVER, what made him not only watchable but, yes, worshipable was the fact that he was so SMART. He saved lives, he did awesome things... In last night's episode, he might as well have not been there. Seriously. It was supremely lame. The only thing he did was complain the ENTIRE episode about how he lost his parking spot to a woman in a wheelchair. So he spends the whole episode in a wheelchair to prove to Cuddy that he is... deserving? Anyway, in the end he gets the parking space back. Which he shouldn't have. Yuck. If I write a letter to FOX, will they listen?