woah... it's been a long time

So it has been exactly 3 months since I last posted. Wow.

Let's see, quick update. A close family member was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That has been really hard on the family, but we've been dealing. I just bought a new car! My first big purchase (Hyundai Elantra, 2007). Very cool. I'm leaving soon to go see Mike in Ohio and lots of people at Stanford (yay!). That's about it for now.

Grad school is on the horizon - exciting.

More to come when I get back to a regular schedule. :)

Wisdom, snow, love, and summer employment

Michael C. Chen is wise.

I just wanted to put a thanks out to Michael for helping me out with some tough stuff, including whether or not to buy a Wii.

But seriously, folks. I've been dealing with some existentialist crises lately, mainly having to do with the fact that I'm leaving oh so very soon. And Tamar sent out an interesting email the other day commenting on how we are all going to be somewhere completely different in if not the next year, probably the next couple of years! We're so transitional. I think this says some good things about where we are and what we're doing, yes? We have the capability (physical, emotional, financial, professional) to move to a new place, start over, and do very well (most likely). Which is more than a lot of people in this country can say (unfortunately, a lot are stuck with their lot, which often sucks). However, I wonder what we're sacrificing? We have lots of facebook friendships that "last", but are we missing out on the benefits of stable residence, stable friendships, stable emotions? I'm not sure.

On another note, it is snowing like CRAZY right now, and I am happy :) I'll have to soak up as much snow as I can, I suppose, since I will not be counting on snow in L.A. unless pigs freeze over or hell flies (or whatever). It was 55 degrees 2 days ago and now it is WHITE.

Question on my mind as of last night: is there really a difference between being in love and loving somebody? Is it a matter of degree or a qualitative difference? I used to believe in a definitive qualitative difference, but now I'm not so sure. Thoughts?

And I may have found a job for the summer! Working as a cooking teacher for a summer camp :) I hope they employ me... it seems like such a neat gig.

p.s.

www.kingdomofloathing.com

omg, awesome.

Official Decision!

I have officially decided to attend UCLA for graduate school. Woot California! Woot UCLA! Woot graduate school! Woot woot!

Glorious Returns, Question, Small Rant

So I have now finished every graduate school visit I will ever do. At least for the next 6 years or so. Hopefully.

I have also survived another bout of illness- one of the worst colds I've had in years.

While the big DECISION is what's on my mind primarily these days, I have been thinking about something that I will run by you all.

So this person who lives in the same house as I do recently (I guess this weekend? I wasn't in town, so I'm not sure...) had a letter of his opened by someone else- presumably in the house. Said letter was apparently in his little mailbox-cubby-thing that we have in the main kitchen. I guess someone opened it and then left it in the mailbox-cubby-thing, opened. An email was sent out to the whole house about said letter (which I think was some sort of bank statement), asking anyone who knew who opened the letter to email this person and tell them why they did it.

Then, this person posted a print-out on the wall of the stairwell (as he likes to do to make general announcements to the house about things like paying for toilet paper) that was rather scary, actually. He said basically that he wanted to know why someone would do that, hoped it was an accident but couldn't see how that could happen since it was in his box and had his name on it, wanted the person to come forward by Monday at 8 p.m. or he would have to go to the police. He used many words in bold, such as federal offence and illegal and police.

So, here's my question. My first reaction to this was that it was kind of ridiculous what a big deal was being made about it (particularly the letter posted on the wall of the stairwell), but then I started wondering if it actually was that big of a deal. Maybe I'm just a big weenie who wouldn't have called the cops just because... I'm a weenie :) What would others have done?

Also, I may be primed to react negatively to this because this guy kind of bugs me and I think he does tend to make a big deal out of things he shouldn't. Such as the aforementioned toilet paper post on which he makes a big deal of the "financial burden" he has undertaken to buy toilet paper for one of the bathrooms and asked everyone to contribute to him $3 (even though we already paid a main fee at the beginning of the year to buy toilet paper for the whole house and we are supposed to get reimbursed from that for any personal expenses; also $3 will buy you like an entire pack of toilet paper).

Opinions? I have one. I'm never living in a communal house like this again... hehe

Uber-post

Okay, so now that I've partially recovered from Tamar's news, I will post what I had promised previously.

First off, graduate school visits. I've got one more visit to make (Northwestern), but I'm my gut is telling me UCLA is the place I want to be for the next 6 years(ish).

So, Berkeley was really lovely :) The campus is beautiful, and I loved the city. It's so funky and walkable and... understated? It's lovely, at any rate. The department was really homey and the grad students were nerdy and cool. I especially had a lot of fun talking with the grad student with whom I was staying (Matthew) about psychology, philosophy, life, and video games. Good times.

Princeton was also nice. The campus is very pretty (reminiscent of Yale but I think Yale is better hehe) and the building for the department is really really nice. I met with three majorly female-power professors, which was fantastic. Everyone seems really competent, professional, and intelligent.

UCLA was freaking awesome. First off, I thought I would dislike L.A. because... it's L.A., but, as it turns out, since L.A. is so huge, each neighborhood kind of has its own feel. The neighborhood around UCLA I really liked. It is totally walkable, full of good restaurants and stores, and really safe. Also, the weather is amazing; the last day I was there it was 84 degrees outside. In February. The campus is full of flowers, trees, swimming pools, attractive people, and sun. The department is so great- everyone is really laid-back, friendly, and they all seem genuinely happy. I felt immediately comfortable with everyone, which was a really good sign, I thought. There are so many resources for the type of research I want to do- tons of people are doing sexual orientation and gender research- and the health psychology there is phenomenal. Oh yeah, and my potential primary advisor is quite potentially the sweetest person ever.

So, things are looking up :)

I've decided that with the advent of my transition into graduate school, I am going to take a closer look at my life, how I'm living, and what can be changed. I really want to adopt a wholly positive outlook towards life. I think I'm usually very positive about things, but as of late I've found myself being more cynical than I used to be, and I really don't want to do that anymore. Also, I'm trying to think of myself as more a part of a greater dynamic (nature, the social world, etc...) rather than trying to manipulate and control everything in my world. I'm hoping that'll help me let go a little and let things happen. I have a really good feeling about the next few months.

In the meantime, I'm going to finish up things here at my current job, travel some in April, see my friends graduate in May, and then off to California for the summer and beyond. Wish me luck!

o.m.g.

Tamar is ENGAGED.

HOLY CRAP.

wow :)

This is not my news, but... wow...

We're getting so old!!!

Winter has come!

Adventures in Gradland

So my weekend in Berkeley/Stanford was exhausting, physically, mentally, and emotionally draining, and awesome in so many ways. But I'm back and roaring to go. Actually, I'm currently at Princeton, in the psychology department building (which is gorgeous). I'm going to go explore soon and try to talk to some people.

But first I wanted to document a few thoughts I had today. First of all, I love taking the train now. I used to not like it at all, mainly because I felt kind of ill whenever I did it. Now, I love it so much more than flying. I put on my iPod, sat at a window seat, and just thought the entire way to Princeton. The scenery was not always lovely, but I feel like I get so much good thinking/me-time in on trains. When I'm on planes, I just think about how much time we have left, if I need a drink, if I need to climb over the guy next to me soon to go to the bathroom, and how uncomfortable I am. Someday I may take a really long train ride. I think that would be nice :)

Also, I was in the train station at Penn Station, and I was watching people watching the train schedule. It was kind of awesome- all these people standing around, perfectly still, waiting for their train to whisk them off to wherever. Then there's me, walking around, through them, watching them. It was a cool contrast.

I will write another post soon about my trip to Berkeley/Stanford, but I think I will wait till this week is over and write about Berkeley, Princeton, and UCLA in one giant, uber-post (if you will).

Also, I want to remember to write about some new thoughts I had about spirituality, my place in the universe, and love. Remind me, blogspot. Exciting things to come!

Excitement and Disappointment

So, it's been awhile. But what I've been doing consists of the following:

Going to work
Going to class
Playing video games
Watching TV
Watching the mail/my email/my phone for news from Stanford or Michigan

It's been an exciting time. But it's about to get even MORE exciting! I leave for the Berkeley Visitor's Weekend tomorrow. I'm actually insanely excited about this. I'm going to get to see some people that are pretty awesome, both at Berkeley and on Saturday afternoon when I go to Stanford to visit... yay!

Regarding said disappointment, House, M.D. has become a mere shadow of what it used to be. Last night's episode was not as bad as it has been, but it was kind of pathetic... So, yes, House is a jerk. We all know that. HOWEVER, what made him not only watchable but, yes, worshipable was the fact that he was so SMART. He saved lives, he did awesome things... In last night's episode, he might as well have not been there. Seriously. It was supremely lame. The only thing he did was complain the ENTIRE episode about how he lost his parking spot to a woman in a wheelchair. So he spends the whole episode in a wheelchair to prove to Cuddy that he is... deserving? Anyway, in the end he gets the parking space back. Which he shouldn't have. Yuck. If I write a letter to FOX, will they listen?

TV Shows, Importance of Belonging, and Grad School

Why is it that after awhile, great characters on TV shows will just become caricatures of themselves? Why, oh why? Many a good show has been ruined or at least highly diminished in this fashion (e.g. Friends). I believe FOX (curse you, ruiner of good show ideas) is in the process of doing this to House, M.D. This is currently one of my absolute favorite shows for two reasons: 1. The character of House is just awesomely awesome to watch and 2. The medicine in the show is pretty freaking cool and actually realistic/involved. However, in the third season, FOX has latched on to the big idiosyncrasies of House and made the show revolve around the drama of him. It's kind of lame. I'm really hoping they'll emerge from this story arc and go back to focusing on the cases and how smart House is and how they solve the cases- the true beauty of the show. That and laughing at House's antics. *sigh*

In unrelated news, I've come to realize how important it is to feel like you belong to some greater entity. So as I am kind of free-floating this year, it has been kind of difficult for me. I'm not an undergrad, I'm not a grad student. I'm not a young professional, I'm not a member of any extracurricular group. I was hanging out with some old Redhotties (old = senior), and we were having a group hug and someone said, "To the Redhot seniors!" (insert pause) and someone else said, "And Mari."

Umm... awkward.

I don't know. Soon I'll belong to something again, and it will be nice :)

Regarding grad school, my spidey-senses tell me that if I am going to hear from Stanford, it will be sometime this week. I had a strange experience where I called Stanford to try to find out when their weekend was so I didn't schedule anything on top of it, and somebody at the office kind of laughed at my question and then asked, "Have you received a letter?" I hadn't- and said so- so she connected me to someone else who gave me no useful information either. Weird.

Either way, I'll keep ya'll posted. For now, my upcoming weeks are going to be fun :) I've got Berkeley the weekend of the 9th, then Princeton on the 13th, UCLA the weekend of the 16th, and Northwestern the weekend of the 2nd of March. Weee!

Snow!

It snowed for 10 minutes this morning. It was very pretty.

Now it is kind of bleak... but the memory remains :)

Two for Two, Where Has All the Snow Gone?

So I got an email/call from UC Berkeley, and I have been admitted into their program, "pending budgetary approval". At the moment what this most definitively means for me is a free trip to California + a chance to hang out with friends :) I'm psyched. I'll be in California for two consecutive weekends thus far, and that is a-okay with me.

Regarding the snow: we had a beautiful sprinkling of snow this morning (8 a.m.ish) and now it is ALL GONE! It snowed for probably a measly half hour... sadness.

Although, my distress over the lack of snow is probably misplaced considering I want to be somewhere next year with a definitive lack of snow. I think I'll have to come back and visit during the winters :)

Happiness

Best day yesterday. No work (woo), went to Ivy Noodle w/John and Darrick, played Guitar Hero II (woo!), hung out with Mike for the rest of the night (woooooo!). Highlights = dinner at Cafe Adulis, ice cream from Ashley's, bluebooking online.

It was a very college evening.

Surprise Holidays!

So when you're in college, days off are never THAT exciting. If I had really wanted to, I could have just not gone to class. Even if I had class. "Officially" not having class didn't make that much of a difference because it still meant I should go into work or do some work.

However, days off when you have a full-time job are AWESOME. I was at Richter's last night having a drink with some friends when we were going to move to Rudy's to meet another friend. I mentioned that I couldn't stay out too late since I had work tomorrow, and I was informed that I did NOT have work tomorrow! WOOHOO! An entire day, completely open. Celebrate good times, come on.

That being said, I might go in for a bit anyway to have some extra hours to take off at a later date.

For posterity (and because I'm very excited)

I just got my first offer for graduate school: UCLA!

woot :)

wtfbbq

So I don't get this: women who wear complete, perfect makeup to the GYM.

Why??

Does this annoy me because it's genuinely annoying or because I'm being defensive? I like to gym to work out... not to put myself on display! Although, there was a really cute guy on the bike yesterday...

Subconscious, like woah, and Video Games

I had a bizarre sex dream about TMTMTL... I think for the first time ever.

Weird!

Also, I do not pay attention to anything when I'm walking sometimes. Today I was walking to work through Woolsey (as usual), and this guy in front of me goes to the doors of Woolsey (on Beinecke) and then turns and goes to the left. I think I may have processed this in some part of my brain but not enough to have it affect my actions. So I walk right up to the doors about 5 seconds after him, pull on them, discover that they're locked (as I'm sure he had 5 seconds previous) and had to walk off looking like a dumbass. Oh, and he was looking at me like I was nuts.

Ahh, yes.

Regarding video games, I was recently hanging out with my friend Chris Meyer- we played lots of Guitar Hero- which was great, but he also introduced me to the wonder that is KATAMARI DAMACY.

This game is bizarre, ridiculous, and highly addicting. So you play as the Prince of the Cosmos (bottom right corner of below photo):

Your pa, the King of the Cosmos:
He has, in a druken state, destroyed all the stars in the sky. Now it is your job to replace them by rolling a ball around earth, making stuff stick to it. This ball is the Katamari. It is sticky- apparently- and things will stick to it, making it bigger (see big ball of crap the picture above this one). At first, the ball is small, so things like thumbtacks, pencils, erasers, and strawberries stick to it. Eventually, the ball gets bigger so you can pick up things like birds, sandcastles, cats, dogs, large boxes, people, houses, islands, etc... It gets quickly ridiculous. The soundtrack is amazing and the sound effects are... crippling. GO PLAY THIS NOW. (It's for PS2).

I'm buying it for Darrick for Christmas (and by for Darrick I mean for Darrick and me). He is also buying Guitar Hero (wee!).

New recipe!

Someone else can give this a try and tell me if it turns out as well for them as it did for me :)

So I was hungry and had very few random things in the fridge. This is what I put together (based loosely on a craving I had for tuna casserole):

*1 1/2 cups of rotini pasta, cooked al dente, drained
*olive oil
*1 small can of tomato sauce
*1 can of water packed tuna (drained)
*1 tbsp of capers (drained)
*1 small can of baby peas
*1 tsp of dried basil
*1 tsp of red curry paste
*shredded mozzerella, to taste
*flavored bread crumbs
*salt and pepper

*all measurements are approximations

1. In a large pan, heat some olive oil (barely enough to coat) over medium-high heat. Add the can of tuna and sautee for a couple of minutes.
2. Add the can of tomato sauce and capers. Add salt and pepper. Heat this mixture through over a medium-low heat.
3. Add the red curry paste and keep it moving till incorporated.
4. Add the dried basil and peas.
5. Add the pasta to the pan and turn the heat down to low. Mix it all together so the pasta turns red.
6. Add mozzerella and bread crumbs so it's kind of chunky.

Enjoy!

I would substitute red onion for the capers (if I had any). I would sautee them with the tuna until they were a little soft. Then continue sans capers.
Also, I'm not sure the bread crumbs were necessary. It made it kind of pasty, which was actually kind of good, but I think that the cheese would've been sufficient to do that.

Thoughts?

oh yeah!

As part of a New Year "Resolution", I've gone veggie.

It's not for any moral reasons, so I will eat meat if necessary, but only for particularly special occasions.

The Psychology Debate and Boredom

Resolve: The scientific study of psychology can be called a "science".

Affirmative: As long as you are using the scientific method, you are conducting science. Therefore, the SCIENTIFIC study of psychology is a science. Just like in the other sciences, empirical psychologists can conduct BAD science. That doesn't make it not science.

Negative: Science is only science as defined by the matter you're studying. In the physical sciences there is a stable "truth" being sought- something that will always be stable and that can be discovered. In psychology, you are studying a "moving target". Therefore, there is no stable truth which can be sought. Therefore, not a science.

Affirmative: However, you are looking for a stable truth within each context (temporal, cultural, spatial, etc...), within each experiment. A good empirical psychologist will be careful to only suggest that their results imply "truth" about as much of a population and context as they can. It's stable "truth", just on a smaller scale.

Negative: Because the matter examined is different and results contextual, that should be reflected in what it's called. Therefore, a name other than "science" should be used.

Who won? Thoughts? Opinions?

Also, I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 11 days all by myself in New Haven. Here are some things I plan to do:

1. File my taxes.
2. Post my break pictures on facebook.
3. Read. A lot.
4. Work out. A lot.
5. Watch lots of Law and Order.
6. Start some new data analysis for my project.

Any other suggestions for what to do when you're alone and w/o a car in New Haven?

New Year's, back in The Have

Yesterday/the night previous, Laura, Tamar, Christina, and I had a suitees reunion in New Haven for New Year's Eve. It was so wonderful to see them again! I've never been terribly close to girls- particularly a group of girls- but I am so comfortable with these women. It made me so happy to see them :)

New Haven is, btw, simultaneously very lovely and slightly sketchy when no one is around. And there was NO ONE around on New Year's Eve when we were wandering around the city looking for ice cream. We went to Bar for dinner- had lovely pizza and shared a 1/2 pt. of beer between the four of us (we didn't finish it)- then we went to Walgreen's (the only place open at 9 p.m.) and got snacks. Then we watched lots of SVU and some House, M.D. and discussed important issues like who our freshman year suitemate had hooked up with.

Christina is leaving today, sadly, and I'm back at work. I put Christmas ornaments on the little tree in my lab, though, and I am stubbornly planning on leaving it up till the end of January. It's practically family tradition! My family used to leave up Christmas lights until the summer, if they could get away with it.

Now I have to put up with almost 2 weeks of being in New Haven all alone. Uck. I'll update on what things I create to entertain myself.